There are many things running in my mind now.. Many worries, many mix feelingss... Right now it's the summer, and I have no summerschool.. so nothing academically related... Firstly.. It wasn't until yesterday night that I found out one of the closest coworker at Urbana, Nami, has recently passed away. She suicided, because of some personal issues. She jumped off her own condo building at around the end of april... We had so much fun when working together.. All the sharing cake, making lattes, sharing stories... She was so friendly, lively and energetic... If only I realize anything.. or if I get to know her even more, maybe we could have resolve those issues.. she may not have ended up like this... I was wondering wat happened to her when I tried reaching her the day after my last exam ( around the same time she died).. the phone never rang.. It was always her voicemail.. after around couple of attempts, I just thought she doesn't wanna hang out anymore.. that she was saying out of courtesy.. Occasionally I'll peek into Urbana when I walk pass to see if she's around... Then yesterday.. I took a peek at her facebook to see how she's doing... then i saw all these RIP messages plastered over her facebook.. it wasn't until I called up one of our mutual friends to find out what happened...\ She lived so close too... I can just run there in two seconds and maybe stop her in time... Secondly... I'm working at this retail store called Buffalo now. Because the keyholder is heading back to France ( he only came to canada for a year to learn English), this spot is currently open, and the managers are looking for someone to fill this position back urgently... I wanted to try going for this keyholder position, because I believe I am ready for it. I want to do more than just being a sales associate.. It's not like something difficult anyways.. just additional responsibilities.. like ability to take shifts for the managers, when they're not around, you just have to do what they usually do.... I think the best way to get that position is to confide the district manager about it. I heard Aurelien asked for that position too and she gave it to him. But do I have the guts? I need to get myself prepared first, to ask her the next time I see her... Am I going to blush like mad? What if she says no? Well there isn't anything to lose when I ask her.. worst come the worst, I'll just stay being a sales associate... I have tomorrow to build my confidence, because I'm going to be working the day after.... Thirdly... Johnny parents are going to be here tomorrow. It's not like it's a bad thing, but I do get nervous around them. Probably because I only see them once a year. I'm usually pretty quiet in front of people I don't really know (except when I'm working which I have to open up and be approachable).. I should learn to be confident.. I should learn from Johnny's brother, Jimmy, because he seems like a pretty competitively aggressive and confident person... Also Johnny told me his parents, or just his mom is going to live at our place for a few days. Jigga is going back to hk soon after his graduation ceremony and his room will be perfect... The thing is they'll see me.. in my ungroomed, lazy way.. The way I usually act like at home ( like that Hotaru no Hikari drama) I should try to go work as much as possible, so I don't stick around at home too much.. hahha. sometimes I think like lsat year, I stick to their family too much.. eating too much with them.. haha give them the impression that I'm always stuck to Johnny.. I should give their family some space.. but it's hard when I live under the same roof.. It feels soo wierd, to sleep on the same bed with their son in another room.. Feels like I'm very (chui peen) open girl, that always sleepover at boyfriend's place (even though we ARE living together now)... You know in Hong Kong this never happens.. I never stayed over at boyfriend's place before.. my parents never lets me.. their parents think I should go home when it's late.. I think its just canada, the fact we're away from home.. Just some random thoughts... haha and now since I'm 21... yayy!! I'm legal in America!! I really want to go to Vegas.. not for gambling tho ( I'm a pretty risk adverse person).. haha but just to see the showss.. the cheap good fooddd.. the cheaper hotels.. ahha soo happy my mom said when I graduate, our family may go on a 1 month vacation around America or something.. ahha wherever.. I want to go on a vacation!!!! I want to go to New York again.. it was too short during xmas.. haha we only stayed there for 3 hours. cuz I wanted to go to Woodbury outlet.. turn out that I regret going to the outlet rather than staying in NYC for the rest of the day.. x.x I also want to go to Cuba.. It's soo cheap too.. Kiara told me it was 750 for 8 days.. everything inclusive.. hotels, plane ticket and food at the resort! But don't think this is the right time.. cuz of swine flu, cuz johnny needs find work, and if I make it to keyholder this is not the right time to go away on a trip... |